


Phantom of Mine

by Lady Lecter (RoNask)



Category: Hannibal Lecter Series - All Media Types, Hannibal Lecter Tetralogy - Thomas Harris
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-24
Updated: 2017-09-24
Packaged: 2019-01-05 00:43:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,075
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12179643
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RoNask/pseuds/Lady%20Lecter
Summary: Clarice dreams of Lecter and he makes her face truths about herself.





	Phantom of Mine

She knew he was in the room long before she saw him, yet she didn’t turn to face him. She didn’t feel her stomach turn this time, the usual anxiety she would feel at the mere mention of his name was gone. That was probably when she realized she was dreaming.  
“Leave,” she said before she said anything else, but her tone faltered for her next words “Please”  
“There is nowhere to go” his answer comes in an unaffected sound, his voice just as she remembers it.  
She forces herself not to look over her shoulder and she hears his slow steps approaching. “You know what I meant, Dr. Lecter” her words come out stronger and more formal than she would have expected them to be, she was glad.  
“There was this one answer you never gave me, Clarice,” he said calmly, still walking towards her.   
She felt like running, but she knew he was right and there was nowhere to go. She also knew he would give chase and she did not want to think about what he could do if he caught her. She bit her lower lip at a memory of another dream, one she could never dare to speak of out loud.  
“How do you manage your rage?” his question triggered the memory, but she pushed it aside.  
She finally turned around to face him and felt the comfortable weight of her Glock .45 in her hand as she did. She didn’t aim, just waited.  
It would be easy, raise her gun, shoot him as many times as she wanted to, put all the blame on him. Declare him guilty of every time Krendler dripped poison on her file, guilty of every time she was borrowed to any agency, guilty of her fame. She could also blame him for her anger, the way she winced at the sight of tasteless people, her desire for beauty when she should be focused on her job. He had planted seeds in her brain and they had grown for seven years even though she fought all of them.  
Kill him, kill him, kill him.  
She wished so bad to aim at him that she was surprised when she realized she hadn’t.  
He watched her patiently, hands behind his back, his gaze was still the one who made her hear buzzing in her mind, blood running in her ears. But she wasn’t afraid, not anymore anyway. And the worst part was that he knew it, he saw the change, he had been watching for way too long to miss it.  
He smiled and she once again entertained the idea of shooting.  
Son of a--  
“Do it” he encouraged and she faced him intently. “Shoot me”  
“No”  
“I did it”  
“No”  
“It is my fault”  
“Shut up, Doctor”  
“How long has it been?”  
She didn’t respond.  
“How long have you known?”  
She held her arm down, tension spreading over it.  
“Tell me, Special Agent Starling, when did you realize you were no bloodhound? Did it take me or did you know it before? Have you ever felt angry at daddy for leaving you and having you become an agent when all you wanted was the best out of the world? Were you angry at daddy for destroying the shield of innocence he represented?” he provoked. “All the things the other kids had and you didn’t, the temper tantrums they could throw while you had to be the best girl. How many dreams have you cast aside for the sake of being the girl who made your daddy proud? How many dreams destroyed so you could study to be more than he was and never again be white trash?” a long paused and he began circling her, Clarice was divided between trying to keep an eye on him or just letting him be, his words bothering her. “And after all this time, after all the effort you put on casting your prejudice aside for the sake of saving people, comes the cannibalistic madman and shows you all the struggle wasn’t worth it.”  
She doesn’t look at him, she can’t, he always sees too much.  
“How many times have you entertained thoughts about my death, Agent Starling?”  
His question hit a spot on her and brought her back to herself. “I didn’t”  
“Don’t lie to me, Clarice” he whispered unaffected by her lies.  
“Once or twice, not for long”  
“No, of course not, you’re daddy’s good girl, you keep your eye on the prize” a moment and his next words were whispered in her ear “You’ll die fighting the glass ceiling, my dear”  
A quick movement and she had her gun pointed at his heart, she could hear her own beating on her ears. She caught her finger positioned over the trigger, it would take a small movement. A move and it would all be over, he would be dead cold in the ground before anyone questioned her sanity and her values.  
The Tattler would call her Black Widow in no time.  
His smile grew.  
He made her turn and found no struggle as he pulled her into his arms, her back to his chest, his mouth close to her ear once more. Her eyes closed before she could stop herself. It felt liberating to be seeing.  
“Well, my dear?” he questioned, waiting. “You never answered my question”  
She opened her eyes and, for a moment, wondered if they had gone maroon. She had been living under his shadow long enough now.  
Her tastes, her anger, her distaste, the most truthful part of her had been heightened, the roots of the seeds he had planted showing its strength after all these years.  
She could kill him and save her reputation for fifteen minutes or she could arrest him, to an end she could not exactly define. Perhaps because it was easier to know he was locked up and incapable of exposing her truths any further. Or she could…  
“I keep my eyes on the prize” she answered still not exactly behind her eyes. She was back at herself when she repeated a request “Leave, Doctor”  
He smiled and planted a kiss on the side of her head, right behind her ear. “I’ll see you soon, Clarice”  
He left her alone in her mind. His words caused a shiver to run all the way down her spine.  
Clarice woke up to the sound of the phone ringing. Pazzi was dead.


End file.
